Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Lessons from The Redman Roost

Being a wife and mom has always been my dream ever since I was a little girl. I remember always carrying around a baby doll with me every where I would go, and I remember praying for a wonderful husband at the age of 14. I definitely would call this my "calling." So in my fours years as a wife and three years as a momma, I have gained a little knowledge from experiences that I would love to share:

Advice number 1: 

Never send your husband to the store to get dish soap. He will get the largest bottle that the store sells and return home with a smile, thinking that he just thought of the most logical thing in the world, "I wont have to come back for soap for at least a whole year." Which in reality, you wont be able to actually pick the bottle up with one hand. This is a two-hander soap bottle. Definitely makes washing dishes a little more challenging. Love his heart.

Advice Number 2:

Don't even try to put makeup on. Just don't. Because SOMEONE will always be at your feet crying for your attention. I haven't mastered putting on eye liner while holding the squirmy baby, so the easiest option for me is to just go natural. 

By the way, isn't that linoleum just lovely? That is another project for another day. 

Advice Number 3:

Never sneak a bite of your child's donut. I made the mistake of just "sneaking a bite" of his pirate donut, and he went into panic mode. He thought it was all gone. His dad does the same thing when I "sneak a bite" of his dinner. Ha! Maybe one day I'll learn this one. But probably not. 

Advice Number 4:

There's no point in cleaning your bedroom or making the bed, because 'little minions' will always come behind you and "undo" everything you have just done. Save your energy and don't bother. 

Advice Number 5:

Wait until nap time for cut the coupons. Never "coupon" with toddlers within a 2 foot radius. One or both toddlers will always steal the best coupons and you will never see them again. Ever. 

Advice Number 6:

When the husband says "I'm going to go burn some brush," quietly follow him. I failed to do that yesterday, and he made a fire 4 feet away from the wooden play set, which is roughly 10 feet away from our back patio. He's a very intelligent man, but he just needs a little help every now and then. And that's why God created a wife as a "help meet." 

Advice Number 7: 

Watch something funny or distracting when pulling out the "big boy clothes" for your tiniest baby. You will cry. But if something is distracting you, you can keep the tears to a minimum. 

This guy is wearing 12 month clothing. Does anyone have any advice on how to keep your baby a baby? 

Advice Number 8:

When you're behind on the laundry and have no more blue bibs for your baby boy, it's TOTALLY okay to use his older sister's from when she was a baby.......Just as long as you don't use them in public. But as home is way more than okay. 

And I promise you that he is NOT Daddy's Princess.

And finally, my last piece of advice is:

Never assume that the "swimmies" are a good substitution for a diaper. Last night I was too tired to run to the grocery store to get a pack of diapers, so this morning when I was desperate for just one more diaper to hold me over til I had a chance to go, I used a "swimmie." WRONG. It's not a diaper. I repeat, it's not a diaper. By the time we pulled in the parking lot of Kroger, my middle child was yelling "I WET!" 

Lessons learned. 

Of course, all of these are just in fun, and the real lessons we learn are from our own experiences. I rely on The Lord to guide me on this journey of motherhood, and I pray daily that I am the wife I need to be for my husband. I don't always get it right and some days I fail, but the beauty of it is that there is forgiveness. And my family loves me anyway!

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